The stupid people concentration camp

Hey Shel Silverstein, I loved your book "The Stupid People Concentration Camp". I think we need to put stupid people in concentration camps because we have a bunch of them and they're all freaking out all the time. They're driving cars and blowing stuff up, like the only people who blow stuff up are the stupid people and they want to do it even though they're idiots. It's like a good cause and I love it. We have to go on to make a shelter so they can blow stuff up and be safe and that would be pretty cool.

It's so warm today, how do you get to be a bear without being a polar bear?

It's easier to be a polar bear than a bear. Polar bears get to go to Antarctica to play with penguins, and they live in a warm climate. I hate penguins! There's one in my bathtub that keeps trying to eat my finger and I keep chomping on it. I like penguins because they make cool noises and shit. Now that they've had a baby and they all look like babies, I'm happy to know that polar bears have a baby too and they've got another one coming up on the way.

Do you miss your old neighborhood? I've heard that there is another location on Sesame Street.

Man, I had a good life! Yeah, I sure do. I have to do this. It's a labor of love and I don't make much money, but it's OK. I was doing this when I was 7 years old too and this is just one of the little jobs that I do for the community of my childhood.

When I interviewed Terry Gross a few years ago, she asked me if I was proud of being a little person. I was also asked about some of the minuscule people I knew and loved. Like on Sesame Street, what were some of your buddies?

Here's one. Here's how we met: I had an Uncle Pete and my Uncle Pete had a pal-mitz. I like to call them "old farts" instead of jail sails because jail sails are gross, but I don't think jail sails are gross. I think they're awesome. But I like pal-mitz because they are an affectionate term for people who have bellies. You know when you see somebody who has a big belly? Like a rotund old man who is just a disgusting and is an old man and looks disgusting? I don't understand it.

When I worked at a school in New York City, I used to visit the Learning Center where the kids go to get tutored. There was this girl, Linda, who I thought was a little person but she wasn't. I used to go to her house and we used to play. We were good friends. That's the kind of person I was. The kid I could talk to. The kid who would talk to a friend who had a disability. I could help that friend learn to use a computer or some shit like that.

And there was something I would always do. If I saw Linda and she was sad or she was crying and I would say, "What's the matter? You look like you're crying. What's going on?" and I would follow her around and make sure she was OK. I don't know why I would do that. It was just the right thing to do.

Can you do me a favor and say a few things for me about what you mean to all those little people?

I feel like I'm still here because of the millions of little people I've met and the millions of little people that are dead because I killed them.