1.19 Minecraft Update

1.19 is called "the Poops and Love update". This feature adds 2 features. The first feature is...

DEFECATION!!!!!!!!!!

Every 3 game ticks (0.15 real life seconds) defecation happens to you. Every single mob has defecation happen to them, however elder guardians have defecation happen to the every 0.01 in game ticks (0.0005 real life seconds). Item frames and armor stands have defecation happen to them too! (Except boats. Boats defecating would just be silly) After you have defecation happen to you, there is 99 + 1% chance to have between 13 and 13 of the new mob spawn within 0 blocks of the entity that just had defecation happen to them. The new mob is...

POOP FLINGIN' MONKIES

Between 13 and 13 Poop Flingin' Monkies spawn whenever anything has defecation happen to them. Poop flinging monkies pick up the poop that was defecated and throw it at the pooper. Flung Poop does 19385892 Quadragintillion Hearts of damage. Poop flinging monkeys have the defecation speed of elder guardians, and can have more poop flingin' monkies spawn from other poop monkies poo.

PATCH NOTES

Minor Bug Fixes

Undid all updates other than 1.0, they are unnessesary

Defecation still happens in specator mode and creative mode

When a poop flingin monkie crashes your computer...

HITMEN!!!!!!

When a poop flingin monkie crashes your computer, microjang studios will send 694.20 quintillion hitmen IRL to hide in your shower. They will hijack your toilet IRL. 33% of the poop that they harvest from the IRL toilet they use to hide in your bed. 33% other percent goes to the IRL pile. When the pile has reached 8.2 meters tall of defecation, they will dump the poo onto your head while you sleep. They use the other 33% for consumption and food.